You have to realize that your eating disorder doesn’t have your back at all. It literally wants you dead. The aim of your eating disorder is to be a skinny and unhealthy as possible and to be the best at restriction. As harsh at it sounds; it wants you dead.
𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴?
You have to see your eating disorder for what it is. That part of you is so self destructive and cruel and therefore you can never trust that voice. Your eating disorder will catastrophize shit endlessly, so you will stay in that false sense of safety.
Which healthy non disordered person would aim to get in the least amount of calories in order to be as thin as possible? It’s actually very sick when you think about it.
This is why I always teach the difference between your eating disorder self and your healthy self. It’s so important for you to make that distinction and see clearly what your eating disorder self is trying to make you do. I know, it sounds strange. Because it is part of YOU who wants you dead.
I mean, why are some people self harming, gravitate towards alcohol and drugs and others do other self-destructive things like restriction or other compulsatory behaviors? It’s not because it’s in our best interest, we just have a certain genetic predisposition which causes us to be so self-destructive. You’re not rationally making the decision to be self-destructive.
However, you can make a well informed decision due to walking through the following steps:
- Ask yourself: is this what my eating disorder wants
or what my healthy self wants?
- Is this serving my health or my eating disorder?
Anytime you know that it’s an eating disorder thought: do the exact opposite of what you’re eating disorder wants you to do. OPPOSITE ACTIONS!
You have to really train yourself by constantly picking up on those eating disorder thoughts, distinguish them from your healthy self and then do the exact opposite of what YOUR EATING DISORDER WANTS YOU TO DO.
REMEMBER; your eating disorder voice is not stronger than you are. Your healthy self is the one who calls the shots.
So, opposite actions, weaken your eating disorder self and strengthen your healthy self.
That's how you recover.