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The real reason you’re still stuck in eating disorder recovery
There is something I see over and over again in eating disorder recovery, and it’s not a lack of knowledge, it’s not a lack of discipline, and it’s not even a lack of wanting to get better, it’s something much more subtle but also much more powerful, and that is the fact that you are still waiting . You are waiting to feel ready, waiting for the fear to calm down, waiting for the moment where it finally feels like you can do it without everything in you resisting it, and
Danie van Kay
5 min read


If people compliment your body..... but you're secretly struggling: read this
There is a reality in eating disorder recovery that is incredibly confronting to face, and yet it comes up over and over again in my work with clients. Sometimes, the very thing people praise you for… is the exact thing that is slowly destroying you. From the outside, it can look like success. Discipline. Control. Beauty. “Health.” But what people don’t see — and what makes this so painful — is that behind that image, there is often someone who is struggling every single day
Danie van Kay
5 min read


You Cannot Think Your Way Out of an Eating Disorder
Recovery Is a Neurobiological Process — Not an Intellectual One This blog post, which is specifically geared towards women this time, addresses a certain type of woman who remains stuck the longest in their eating disorder. She is accomplished. Highly intelligent. Often professionally successful. She understands psychology. She understands trauma. She understands nervous system regulation. She can articulate her patterns with remarkable clarity. And yet — the ED behaviors rem
Danie van Kay
4 min read


“I want to recover, but I don’t want to gain weight.”
No shit. No one does. That’s the thing. This sentence is often treated like a contradiction; something you’re supposed to resolve before you’re allowed to move forward. But it isn’t a moral problem or a mindset issue. It’s the sound of a brain and nervous system responding to prolonged threat. And we all experience it, even when we logically know we're suppressing our natural body weight. When restriction continues over time, the brain does not simply register “less food.” I
Danie van Kay
4 min read
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