I'VE BEEN STUPID. KNOWING YOUR BOUNDARIES AND STILL PUSHING IT
Heyy heyy. It's been a little quiet over here, hasn't it?
I've been MIA for multiple boring reasons. Let's just say my exhaustion has been through the roof and overstimulation has become my middle name. Juggling life with a chronic illness, coaching, helping others and maintaining a social life which involves late nights and drinking is kinda hard sometimes.
I don't know if Lyme is a little more active right now or if I'm just been doing too much in general. It all comes down to the fact: I'M TIRED AF.
I wanted to show you some pictures from this weekend. I went to this huge festival called LOVELAND which is pretty famous in the Netherlands.
It was my first big festival and it was seriously the most physical intense one. To make a very long story short: from the moment I got there with my friends I freaked out. I didn't expect it to be this big, meaning the venue was spread out over an entire forest, and that meant I had to walk a LOT.
Was already in pain when I arrived, so you can't even imagine how much pain I am in today.
It was my own stupid mistake.
I've been so mad at myself the past two days and I cried a lot. I told myself I should've done more research, left earlier etc etc. But I didn't and now I have to suffer the consequences.
I think partially with neural rewiring and chronic pain, it comes down to not expecting the worst, doing it anyways and see what happens. I did exactly that and shit hit the fan, BUT I tried it anyways.
I've been doing great with going to clubs, because I now know my own limits and leave when I can't dance anymore and just hop on my E-bike or get in an uber and go home.
But in this situation it was a little different, because the closet stage to the entrance was already a 15/20 minute walk.
It all comes down to me not getting mad at myself or my body. It's pointless, yet very human. I wanted something, I did it and the outcome is recovering for a couple of days and dealing with a lot of pain. Oh well.
But it will get better and I shouldn't be afraid to go out or go to festivals.
This is just part of life and an experience in itself.
I did it.
I’m suffering right now.
I know huge festivals aren’t made for me.
everything will be okay.
Don’t make life too complicated.