Certified EDIT ® Eating Disorder Recovery Coach, IIN ® health coach, body positive facilitator and chronic lyme advocate.
These kind of life stories are always hard to keep as brief as possible, but I'll try my hardest.
20 years ago I was bitten by a tick in my backyard when I was 7 years old. My mom removed the tick and I grew up as a relatively happy, semi-healthy, but very sensitive and insecure kid with just some minor health issues like chronic bladder infections.
Fast forward 9 years later I started developing weird and restrictive eating habits in the hopes to ditch the weight I gained in a short time span during my adolesence. In hindsight this was just a combination of being a developing young woman, having to deal with a lot of stress and hormonal inbalances which made me gain more weight than I'd liked to.
After trying out almost every diet under the sun I almost gave up and decided at age 18 to give it my last shot. This particular diet seemed to actually work in my favour and before I knew it I was obsessing about calories, portion sizes and exercising. I basically lived in the gym and controlling my food became my priority.
At age 21 I started studying Nutrition & Dietetics and I had the time of my life. The eating disorder slowly became background noise.
Unfortunately the universe had different plans for me. Within that first year of my study I started getting extremely exhausted, brain fogged and the main issue was getting these extreme muscle pains. The pain started in my left knee (where my mom removed the tick) and the pain quickly spread out all over my body.
I did my absolute best to ignore all the pain and exhaustion and powered trough that first year of studying, exams, parties and so on. I knew there was something wrong with my body, but no doctor had the answers. My blood panels constantly came back with good results.
After I finished my first year of Nutrition & Dietetics I completely broke down.
After a year of multiple doctors visits and many expensive blood panels, I finally got the diagnosis Chronic Lyme Disease. The IGM came back negative and the IGG came back positive. Which meant it was chronic by now. This made sense as I was bitten by a tick when I was a little kid.
During the time of my diagnosis I was bedridden, wheelchair bound and before I knew it I was back in the grips of Anorexia.
I lost all control over my body, so the only thing I could control was my food intake.
Looking back to this: a lot of so-called "specialists", "experts", doctors and dieticians could've saved me a lot of sorrow and pain if they would have really listened to me. They could have seen the panic in my eyes when they started talking about these crazy "healing diets".
I was told I needed to obtain a strict protocol, stay away from food X, stay away from food Z and take as many supplements to support my immune system.
No one ever asked me if this way of eating was actually beneficial for my mental health. Since I've always been the obedient, Type A, perfectionistic, researching type myself, I was the ideal patient.send home with an enormous amount of Oxycodon (which only made me feel like a zombie) and a "we don't know what this is... It could be lyme" answer by neurologists, internists, eye specialists, etc.
I've never had this much pain in my life. The fact that it was constant 24/7 eye pain made me suicidal. My mom moved in with me to keep me safe and she tried her hardest to lift my spirits. Bless her.
I don't know if I would've survived if it weren't for my mom and my emotional support dog.
I'm a very optimistic, glass is always half full kind of person, but when you're struck with unbearable constant pain, life isn't worth living anymore.
Many years later, hours and hours of money wasted on cognitive therapy, eating disorder clinics, hospital admissions and so much more, I was at my rock bottom.
Lyme disease, the chronic pain, the exhaustion, the anorexia..... HOW THE HELL WAS I EVER GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS AND MAKE ANY PROGRESS?!
This was when shit quite literally hit the fan. Pardon my French.
I can remember as it was yesterday.
I was sitting on my couch, watching Netflix (Jessica Jones to be precise) and drinking a can of diet coke (what else, right?!)
All of a sudden I got overwhelmed by this extreme eye pain attack. It was like someone was 24/7 pulling and pushing behind my eyes and I could't move my eyes or look down without having excruciating pain. This went on for months. I went to the ER and crisis centers countless of times and was
THANK GOD I got in contact with a holistic healing lady (I literally don't know what else to call her) and she did bio-resonantie on me. After about 3 months I slowly started to notice small differences and even though the pain was still constantly there, it was sort of bearable.
At the same time I decided that the only ability I had was to heal myself by eating and gaining weight.
So that's exactly what I did. Eat, bio-resonantie, detoxify and repeat.
Fast forward a year later; I managed to reach my setpoint weight, stayed there and surprisingly LOVED it, did toooooons of Lyme healing, bio-resonantie, herbal protocols, you name it.
The eye pain is still there, but it's not in comparison to 3 years ago. I'm now able to write, read a bit and communicate with you guys!
I still have my flare-ups, have super crappy days, also have great days, but the matter of the fact is: I still have chronic Lyme and I am in chronic pain.
BUT I did a whole 360 degrees with my life.
I'm now able to do things I could never imagined doing a couple of years ago and this is why I wanted to start coaching again.
Overcoming an eating disorder on your own and still live a full life with a chronic illness can seem very daunting, but it is possible!
IF I CAN DO IT, SO YOU CAN YOU!